So a week ago I talked about the Honesty Experiment and (mistakenly) thought I would be blogging more. Real life interfered, as it generally does. The first week was all about being honest with people I care about. The tips were:
- Write something honest on Facebook.
- Tell someone I love them
- Send an honest text message
- Make an honest phone call
- Tell a family member something honest
- Give a piece of constructive criticism
- Tell a friend something honest
This experiment came at an interesting time. A few months ago I had adopted what I fondly refer to as my “no bullshit” policy. Which is fairly grating to others at times. And can also come across as unnecessarily or uncomfortably harsh harsh. Personally, I think we would all be better off in the long run if we were willing to accept a little more sting in the short term. And not only that, but if we turned that sting of honesty into a moment of self-reflection. But that’s the idealist in me.
This week I was pretty honest (as I strive to be). But at the same time, there were times where I couldn’t be (usually job related). Again, can we live in a society where everyone can be completely honest? I don’t think so, at least not until we get to a point where information doesn’t have value. I did all of the tips over the course of the week, though not always on the days that they were given, and some were done more times than others.
Al in all, being honest is a liberating feeling, because it entails not having to worry constantly about knowing the right thing to say. By that same token, it is hard because in some cases it entails telling people things they don’t want to hear. And it often takes time for people to coherently say exactly what they are trying to say. I know I often need to take some time to put my thoughts together in a way so that they make sense to people other than myself (apparently, making other people understand your point of view is really important for communicating, who knew?).
I haven’t noticed any changes since starting this experiment a week ago, but some changes that I’ve noticed since my no bull shit policy are:
- The content of my conversations with people has changed.
- Some people don’t like talking to me as much any more.
- People are willing to be more honest with me, because they know I will be honest with them.
- I’m much happier with myself.
examples/stories would be helpful here (of course leave names out).
also- does this experiment include lying by omitting information? what is the line between tact and being blunt…. still being honest, but delivering things in such a way to sensitive people such that the honesty is not taken as a personal affront to someone’s self-worth etc….